Which is better: having a life jacket, or learning to tread water? Really sit with this question for a good, long minute. Which option do you instinctively gravitate to the most? Does your mind change the further you explore this question, or are you stationed the same? Why is the option that speaks to you best, the most glamorous or favorable to you? What is it about the other option that opposes you?

Now, let’s explore both carefully.

Let’s say, you learn to tread water. It’s a very useful skill to have because it keeps you afloat, right? Let’s pretend you were invited to sea, to go on a wonderful adventure. You packed your bags with clothes and sunscreen and your toothbrush and a comb, and you left a little space in your bag to keep the marvellous little trinkets you collect along your voyage. One day, you’re sitting at the edge of the ship and you’re amazed because in every direction, you can only see water all the way to the horizon. There is no land in sight! The horizon is just a fine line that separates two shades of blue, as far as the eye can see. How magical! It gives you a sense of just how big and glorious the world is around you. Suddenly, you hear a loud and gut curdling boom from somewhere underneath you, and it chills you to the core. Before you’ve had the opportunity to recognize what had occurred, from right underneath your feet, the ship starts to split right in two. You don’t have much time to react; you can not grab your belongings, or your collection of trinkets and the splitting ship prevents you from travelling on board to grab anything that might be useful to you. You don’t want to be drug through the splintering, cracking floor and thrust deep under water through the force of the current, so in a split decision, you jump off the side of the ship. You land in the water with a crash and in the next several moments to follow, you’re filled with terror and confusion… but – you know how to tread water. If you can manage to keep your head above water for just long enough, you stand a chance of making it out of this disaster. The more you had practiced treading water before now, and the stronger you’d built yourself to be, the more endurance you’ll have and the longer you’ll be able to keep your mouth and your nose above the surface of the vast sea. However, the downside to treading water is the act of it, and how well it works (and continues to work) relies solely on what your body is capable of. Eventually, your body will begin to fatigue; your muscles will ache until they grow numb and if you don’t find a way out, the time will come where you will not be able to hold yourself up any longer. The time will come where you will sink, and the sea will not hesitate to swallow you whole.

Now, let’s take a look at the alternative. Suspend your disbelief for a minute and pretend that you were born wearing a life jacket. Pretend that the jacket grows with you and it is always secured snug around your torso. If you always had a life jacket, and all you knew was a world where you had one on, you would never learn to fear the damning possibilities water can provide. You would willingly jump into any body of it as you would never have to pay any mind to consequence. You would know with absolute certainty that you would float with ease. Effortlessly, you would glide through the sparkling current without ever having to fight for a breath. Maybe on occasion, instinctively, or even absentmindedly, your hand would reach out and scoop the waves below the surface or your leg would make a subtle kick to keep you facing whichever direction you wish, but that’s the only thought you’d ever have to give to swimming. Water would resonate with you completely as gentle and safe. Perhaps open bodies of water would be your place of solace and perhaps you would seek out waves intentionally whenever you needed a distraction from your life on land. For you, water would be reliable, dependable, and secure. Floating through it, you would feel content and worry-free, always.

Imagine one day, you suddenly didn’t have your life jacket anymore. Maybe it’s because it got damaged and could no longer do its job, or maybe it’s because you figured you just didn’t need it anymore. Regardless, one day… the life jacket comes off. You wouldn’t have any idea what being in water would be like without it. You would have never learned to swim, and if all you’ve ever known for your entire life is that you would float and be safe in water, it might not even occur to you that wouldn’t be the case without the help. The next time you came across a body of water, you might eagerly jump in without giving it a second thought. This, after all, has always been your place of solace and comfort. Maybe you would go to a large lake. The first few steps into the water would be familiar and fond, the cool water would dance around your feet and tickle your ankles delicately. Aqua would embrace your shins and welcome your knees, as it had a thousand times before. It would mould perfectly to your thighs, and then your hips. It would even perfectly curve to the small gap of your bellybutton; your body adjusting to the temperature gradually as you set in deeper. Perhaps now is when you would dip your fingers in for the first time. The moisture would saturate your fingertips ever so gently, and the ends of your fingers would begin to wrinkle, just a tiny, tiny bit. Maybe now, you would submerge your entire hand and carelessly flutter it through the flow with your fingers spread wide apart so you could feel the pressure of the water whirling past your skin. It’s possible that now you are filled with excitement, and the rush of the waves drives you to run deeper into the void! Your feet grab firmly into the sand below you and with every step, you fight against the force of the water, impatient for your whole being to be immersed entirely in the aquatic embrace. The water level finds your chest, then your shoulders, then your chin…. You prop up onto your tiptoes to get just a little further, and you struggle to stay steady as you wrestle with the waves to take a few… more… steps… Your toes can no longer find the sand and panic flushes through your body as you discover that you can not float. This has never happened before. Your head bobs inconsistently in and out of the water that bubbles as you fight to take a breath. You never learned to swim. You never needed to. Your limbs thrash erratically, desperately, and randomly below the surface to try and keep you above the water and your mind scrambles to form a thought, an idea, anything that might save you. Like quicksand; the more you struggle, the deeper you sink, and soon, your head doesn’t bob over the water any longer. You scream, and instinctively, your lungs beckon you to gulp for a breath and the lake water slithers in betrayal through your organs and your flesh. Worst of all, you are mere inches away from where your toes would reach the sand.

In the first scenario, you were fine for a while. Still, while you were treading, though you knew you were capable of keeping afloat for a while, you were woeful of the uncertain future. Even though you had the skills and the knowledge to keep your head above the surface, you knew that it would not be sustainable long term. In those moments, you would probably wish for a life jacket as an aid.

In the second example, you were gifted a great promise of reliability. You were granted the incredible pleasure and privilege of always having support to count on, and that is a truly amazing thing that we all long for. However, in this example, this safeguard evolved into being a standard for you. It was something you were always dependant on and something you took for granted. You never fathomed that one day, it wouldn’t be present or that you wouldn’t be able to continue your version of normalcy without it. When you began to sink, you would probably wish that despite the life jacket’s long reliability, you would have still learned to tread water.

By now, you probably recognize the point I wish to make. Both having the life jacket and learning to tread water are tremendously valuable, but it’s foolish to rely on only one and completely neglect the other.

Knowing how to tread water helps you to be independent and self-sufficient. It is a reliable, handy and rewarding resource and beyond the skill itself, it builds your strength, fortitude, and stamina. Alone, there are a great many instances where it can help you to accomplish and/or overcome, but be wary of your pride in it, for in deep enough water and after a long enough time, it will lack sustainability. By then, I hope you won’t have already declared your ego impenetrable, so you can recognize the circumstance is suitable for a crutch.

Having a life jacket is a magnificent acquirement. It develops your understanding of symbiotic nurturing, and it allows you to know the precious ability to be open to help. To seek aid feels vulnerable, and if you are able to find the strength to ask for a hand to be extended to you, then you will be able to learn the incredible values attached to it, like community, understanding, generosity, cooperation, and relationship. However, if you rely on aid as if it is an essential or if you confuse it as being orthodox or owed, you may grow greedy or lost, under prepared or unable. If you build reliance as your foundation, there will come a day where that foundation will crack, and if you did not learn how to fill the cracks on your own, you will be rendered helpless.

In summary, both learning to tread water and having a life jacket are beneficial assets and we should learn to explore and utilize both, each as considerably as the other. Furthermore, (and pay close attention because this is the most important part) we should all learn how to properly recognize when it is best, both advantageous in the moment and fundamental in the long run, to reach for one or the other. We should be careful with which option we choose and when we choose to make use of it. When each is used properly, we create for ourselves both balance and exponential growth.

In your circumstance in this moment, which is better: having a life jacket or learning to tread water? Really sit with this question for a good, long minute.

*Applicable wherever necessary.